Love Story - Debut EP
This is love:
to fly toward a secret sky,
to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.
First, to let go of life.
In the end, to take a step without feet;
to regard this world as invisible,
and to disregard what appears to be the self.
Heart, I said, what a gift it has been
to enter this circle of lovers,
to see beyond seeing itself,
to reach and feel within the breast.
-RUMI
Life is a collection of journeys towards a destination, but sometimes it’s not a direct flight. Sometimes it’s not even a train journey with stops along the way. Sometimes a journey can be one with layovers and stops along the way that might seem like the destination but are only a change in transport. With each transport method representing a new stage, a new level even. Progression. My biggest journey thus far has been one of that kind. A 7 year long flight with 2 layovers and an extra drive towards the final destination. I’ve now come to see it as a journey in 3 distinct stages and a mini stage where everything comes together.
This EP was written during the final part of the 3rd stage. Beginning with Maybe in early October 2020, then Can’t Pretend -January 2021, Haunted Words -March 2021, and finally Love -April 2021. This stage represented, to me, faith, spirituality, and personal growth. With that particular part of it focusing specifically on contextualising, making sense of, and understanding that faith, spirituality, and personal growth. Which is why I wrote these songs in the first place. As a way to put my understanding into words in whatever way I could at that point. This journey is of the kind where I’m not always sure what the destination is, however what I do know, is that at the moment, metaphorically speaking, I am minutes away from arriving wherever that might be
When arriving from a long journey, one is always inclined to retell the details of it- the ups and downs- the experiences- the lessons learned- the people met- the opportunities found. Which is how I know that destination is so close, because of the knowledge that, the story is being told
TRACK 1 - LOVE
Love is the final song I wrote for this EP, on the 8th of April 2021. I wrote it, I think, the day after I met with the producer for the first time and discussed what we could do. Before, the plan was to release a different song, but after writing this, I had no doubt I needed to release it. Now I understand why I chose the track list I did. Love is the final stage in the experience of writing to make sense of what I already know. Love is a love letter to myself. For the longest time, my mind would twist the truth I already knew, into a comfortable lie, but the lie would hurt me continuously, and make everything more difficult than it needed to be. When I wrote Maybe, I was finally choosing to release that lie, and with every song I wrote on this EP, I was taking a new step towards fully embracing what I knew as well as letting go of the fear of what might be if I accepted it. When I wrote Love, I hadn't accepted the truth yet, but I reached a point where I was becoming more aware. I had accepted, on some level, the need to accept. Before that, I wanted to accept, I was trying, I was clearing the confusion, but still only subconsciously. Whereas, writing Love, there was a shift, from subconscious to conscious, and my writing was a lot more clear once again, no longer confused, or muddled, even if I still was on some level.
TRACK 2- CAN’T PRETEND
Can’t pretend is musically my favourite song I’ve written. I sat down that day on my piano to practice Moonlight Sonata which I had been learning at the time. At one point, as usually happens, I got bored and I started improvising instead and all of a sudden I was playing the riff of the chorus. Instantly I recorded it in my voice notes and I knew it had to become a song because it would be wasted otherwise. I spent 2 days figuring out the right notes for the left hand with the riff. Eventually the chorus happened and the verses were added quickly. In 10 minutes I wrote the corresponding lyrics and melody for the singing bit and I had the first idea for the song done. Lyrically, the song captures what it’s like to start accepting that certain, false, beliefs and ideas one might be clinging to, knowing they’re false, are hurting them more than they’re helping. It’s an honest confession to myself, finally admitting that I can’t keep pretending this is okay, when everything I was desperate to believe was leaving me stuck in a cycle of pain. The lie allows comfort in its presence, when all is well, ensuring you don’t release it, but as soon as night falls, comfort disappears and you’re faced with your intuition, with all that you know you need to face, and you’re left to face it alone because the lie is not your friend. Accepting the truth may be painful at first, and the false comfort in the lie returning might feel safe, but healing and true peace can only come with allowing oneself to accept the truth and feel everything that comes with releasing the lies we tell ourselves.
TRACK 3- MAYBE
Maybe is a song about heartbreak, love, and faith. It talks about the pain and confusion that can come with rejecting love and continuing to hold on to an idea of love that isn't real, knowing it isn't real, but being too afraid to let go regardless. It tells the experience of finally beginning to question these false ideas and beginning to break free from those falsities, so as to accept the truth, and discover real love.
TRACK 4- HAUNTED WORDS
The final track on my debut EP is all about the lie. The things I told myself over and over about what love means to me, and what was meant to happen, and all the reasons I was still clinging to the lies I told myself. All the many ways I tried over and over to make sense of what I was forcing myself to believe, but having it all fall apart in front of me every time I tried to run from the truth. It is about facing the truth that was staring me in the face, day by day appearing in all of my writing. We tell ourselves time and time that love means nothing to us more than the pain and heartache and the trauma we are used to, but the truth remains, love means everything to all of us. it's time we stopped denying that universal truth.
